Thursday, 29 July 2010

My first punishment


The odd part of my training, and I am realising that now my life is full with rules and protocols I strictly observe, is that the rules and protocols were seldom “decreed” from the blue but sort of softly suggested. It is true that each time I was so pleased to obey my strongest instinct and go for what He was demanding, learning that a slave – I was a slave before knowing it consciously – always wishes to make her master happy, even if the master’s requests are inconvenient to the slave.

“Soft” humiliation and disgrace was ramping up day by day, soft because, as some of you now know, much more was coming up. You’ll read that later. What I wanted to write today is how I quickly understood pain would be part of my life. That was very new to me as well.

I have not been punished by Master very early in our relationship. I guessed it was bound to happen. When it came, I accepted it but also incredibly I enjoyed it. This proves what Master told recently to me is fully true: “Take care in the progression in educating your slave, everything is cheerfully and gratefully accepted if well driven.” Thank you, Sir, for the care and trouble you took in training me!

Early in March, I was punished very badly for the first time. I came directly from work to His house without changing dress. I was wearing a knee-length skirt and fashion tights. The dressing code was already clear at that time: always stocking and suspenders, and the shortest possible skirt to fit with, unless given permission to do otherwise. When I saw His face I instantly knew I was crazy. My heart pounded.

I hesitantly came forward. I was trembling. When I stopped a few feet from him, he said “Now, don't you have something you want to ask me?” I tried to look into his eyes, but my gaze slid away as I said haltingly “Sorry Sir. Please—please punish me.”

“Punish you? For what?”

Blushing furiously, I stammered, “For—for wearing tights and a skirt of classic cut... without your permission.”

Because He was staying silent, and my inexperience, I added in a strangled whisper “Because—because—I'm your property." My pussy heated, and I felt my nipples harden as I said it.

As expected, Master told me dryly time had come for proper punishments. I shivered, and my panties became wet not because I was aroused but because I peed slightly. He ordered me to undress but my stiletto heels, go and stand in the corner of the dining room with my hands on my head.

“You’ve got to learn, my cane will teach you!” He said. I responded “Yes Sir, thank You Sir,” hoping that my deep submission would soften His anger, but that was a mad idea.

I took off my clothes and put them in a neat pile, and then went and stood in the corner opposite from the door, hands on my head, legs spread. After a while, He told me to come and led me over to the table and told me to lie over it. I laid myself on the table, He took ropes in a drawer and proceeded to spread my legs and bind them to the two rear table legs and the same with my arms at the front. I was totally exposed as He was binding me and now totally immobile tied to the table trying to calm my breathing as I felt my heart beating. I knew what that meant, and though my heart sank I knew I deserved it.

Master took a cane and said “I also know just how you will be turned on as you get by it. Count out loud” I rested my cheek on the cool of the wood, wishing for the ordeal to be over, but hoping on the other hand it would never start. It started though and twelve evenly paced strokes cut into my backside. Some were harder than others, and made me gasp and wiggle, but all were just about bearable. I then heard he had put the cane down and then all of a sudden I felt His fingers inside me, teasing and probing. He said “hmm well, if anything, you're even wetter than I thought, I wonder if caning you harder will make a difference?” As He had been talking His fingers had been gently teasing my clitoris bringing me closer and closer to orgasm until, just when I was close, he withdrew, leaving me craving his touch. I did not have long to ponder that thought, as within seconds he had picked up the cane and slammed it into my buttocks. I counted through another 12, harder this time, longer for the count to leave my mouth. As the twelfth stroke hit I could feel my body relax, knowing he would give me a rest.

He said “Alexia I’m punishing you and you are dripping wet! Any explanation?” It was hurting and I knew it would probably only get worse, yet I was turned on. I said no, don't know why, I'm not enjoying the punishment. Again His fingers probed to the contrary, and I genuinely couldn't understand why, I wasn't enjoying the experience on any conscious level. He said “Harder, I think, this time. Let's see if that has any effect.” I screamed, each stroke was like a brand of fire but I managed to continue counting knowing that if I didn’t it might make things even worse. I tried desperately to move away from the source of the pain but was tied too firmly to the table for it to make any difference. He rubbed the cane along the crease between my buttocks and my thighs, I gulped, resisting the urge to plead with him for mercy. Tears were rolling down my face. After what seemed like an eternity, we reached 36. By this point He had brought me to such a place in my head that I wanted to take as much as He wanted to give. He walked to the head of the table, bent down to my level, dried my tears and cleaned my face. And then it was over, He untied me, holding me to Him as I stood on shaking legs. And as all good-girl canings should, it ended with a hug. I swore I'd always be a good girl, and always dress according to the rules.

Friday, 23 July 2010

Flashback (2)

In March I was still living in my own flat, but was spending most of my evenings and nights at His home, and of course the week-ends were for Him.

He was pleased of how I was learning fast. As an example, there is a story of my early training, when He was getting me used to being a public slut.

28 March
This weekend He took me to the seaside renting a small beachhouse in a posh holiday resort north of France, quiet place at that time of the year and lovely scenery. Weather was great and unexpectledly warm. The weekday’s morning protocol is off at weekends and we planned to go out for a walk after breakfast. Changing the way, He started the morning by ordering me to give some color to His breakfast and to play the filthy little slut. Thus, while He was having His morning coffee I was lying naked on the bed, spreading my cunt open in front of Him and masturbating. Then He made me stuff a thong in my wet cunt (“to make it ready to wear later on”), finger my ass, lick my finger, etc. That game made Him horny and He came along with His cock hard and ready, I knew that it was my turn to get a breakfast. Later on after He had splooged my mouth while pinching my tits hard, and I had swallowed His sticky cum, He said we go. I was permitted no stockings (beach!), but ordered to go commando wearing a new pink short skirt box pleat and see-through fishnet top with peep-toe flats shoes. We had a wonderful walk on the beach and in the dunes. I’ve told previously that He thinks I must be frequently humiliated in order to keeping my position as a sub high in my mind. This morning when we crossed the way of other walkers, He told to some of them “Do you want to see my wife’s ass?” (I was thrilled to be called “His wife”). When they were stopping and staring with a laugh, He would order me to bent over and lift my skirt and spread my buttcheeks.

Once we crossed two single men and after the same game, He told them they were welcome to carry an inspection. I felt like Master was abandoning me but I knew insubordinate behavior is never tolerated so I spread my legs wide... I felt the hands of those guys on my body, palpating my breasts, rest in between my thighs, their fingers moving down my ass and feeling my clit. After a few minutes of that and both my holes stretched by their searching fingers my pussy was getting wet.... The two guys got overexcited and asked Master if they could fuck me, I was half relieved because He said no. Half relieved as I was now moist and horny, not daring to say a word but begging in my mind that Master would do me. Happily the session had turned him on too and not minding where we were He slid His big cock in my wet cunt. The guys were not far and watching us while Master was pounding me from behind. Soon He cum and me with Him, and when it was finished He just gave the signal that we go without letting me wipe myself (usually I take the leaking cum with my hand and put it in my mouth). While we were walking back to the villa I was feeling His cum leaking out of my vagina, running along my bare thighs. Considering I had been a good docile slut, Master allowed me a shower when we reached back. He is so understanding, I just love Him

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Flashback

As you know, Master wants me to write my personal journal and confess everything unashamedly on this blog. The opportunity to please Master is very important to me and I am happy to obey Him.

A piece of background.

I had a very free sexual life and enjoyed many “affairs”, I was well looked after by many “friends with benefits” before I met Master and fell really in love for the first time in my life since the ordinary youthful romances of the average girl. I was very young when I lost my virginity and discovered sex. My legs which I am very proud of and I suspect other parts of my body as well turned out to be magnetic to the male species, and in turn I was attracted by them so much that I left home early to move away from my puritan prissy shallow family. I found easily a job as secretary in another city and I let a flat. My first position was in fact “secretary with benefits...,” which was the very ordinary way I found to bypass the other candidates while they were far more skilled. You may find that unethical, but my boss was married and there was no night duty. A few blowjobs here and there from under his desk, or the sort of once a week fuck on the visitor’s sofa after the other employees have left was a light charge in exchange of a good job where I could gain experience for the next one. In a way also the shy and formerly well-educated girl I was took some secret pleasure in being humiliated in private. How to explain? I was mentally in pain when sexually abused by that old swine, and at the same time, not always but frequently, I was surprisingly enjoying that fuck toy role. I was certainly predisposed to become the owned slut of a Master.

I stayed a year and a half in this first job then changed, finding a new one less contingent on sex. In the following years I had a wonderful time out of work. Guys are often surprised to discover that quiet girls are the kinkiest, and they pass the word around. I had thus many friends, so to speak. You have understood that sex is important in my life, and still is, but at that time I had no idea of what dominance and submission really was though I have always been very docile and obedient with the male gender, the more in a bed or in any situation where sex can take place.

When I met Master, He certainly judged at once that this girl, always showing quiet obedience, would highly repay His efforts if He cared to train her properly. In His way, He fell in love with me at the same time He seduced me. And, as I wrote earlier, my training started while I was not aware of it. An owned sub is simply a girl giving herself wilfully, openly and completely to a Master. The sub (the slave? What’s the difference?) will do as she is told, follow the rules and will always try her best to please her Master in any way she can. He comes first in her life above everything else. What difference with ordinary love? A Master knows everything about his slave and is capable of controlling her thoughts, actions and feelings - this is how much he is capable of owning her. When I met Master, He already knew everything; He understood me at first sight and was from the outset in-tune with me.

He had progressively His way with me in a delightful mix of pleasure, pain, discipline and hard fucking. From scratch He was my Master and I was his property but we have entered gradually into a deeper relationship, of our own free-will, and I did not realise it for a long time. Master will often use pain as a method of control, torture... and pleasure. This pain can be physical, but more often mental or emotional, and can be intense. Master holds both positions of God and Devil simultaneously to me. He is capable of filling his slave with so much happiness and so much pain at the same time it cannot be explained.

Master makes the rules and he will punish me accordingly if I break them. He will reward good behaviour accordingly. I am a happy owned whore, His property. I can be used and abused for Master’s amusement and pleasure infinitely. A sex slave is a property and not a person. Master is the man I can never thank enough for everything he has given me so far.


(to be continued)

Saturday, 17 July 2010

How my new life went on

During and after that benchmark January weekend, He made me slowly forget my new experience of love with a girl, though I was not regretting at all. Later on, in fact, I confessed that affair when learning progressively to tell Him everything and to giving up the very idea of having a private life. I was not sure on how He would take it, but it went easily and I even felt He was pleased. Now with the benefit of hindsight I understand He was pleased to see how versatile I was in terms of sex, and He was finding there one of many leads confirming He was in good territory to educate me in accordance with what He wanted I grow to be.

My training was getting started, but I was not fully aware of it. He was so good in turning me on and transforming me into His hottie, a hot whore, a boner inducing female. He wanted me always erotically and arousingly attractive, and not only for Him but for all the males around. I remember He told me once “Do follow this important rule: your demeanour and attire must make the blood leaves the men's brain and go to their cock.” My first rule. I had to overstep my natural bounds because if I have always loved sex games, always been far giving myself away to men so happy to have a slut in their bed and in turn making me happy, I was ordinarily shy in public and I still have to force me.

I was so happy to submit to all His wishes that I did not notice I was becoming step by step His submissive slut. I knew also I was arousing Him insanely, as much as I was ready for anything He would have asked. We went back to His home the following weekend. It was hot in the car, my skirt showed a bit too short and He was watching the tops of my stockings. I had to tell him constantly to look at the road... With a hand under my skirt, feeling my panties, or even from time to time with a finger in my wet pussy, He would tell me I am “His around the way girl”. I was melting. I am always so in same circumstances. I fell deeply in love.

When we arrived, I was panting. As soon as we got in the sitting room, He ordered me to take my panties off and to bend forward, skirt lifted and legs spread open. I did and then felt His finger slide into my ass. It put me over the top. Then He fingered me harder and worked two more fingers into me. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan. He brought His hand up to my mouth and I hummed as I slowly sucked on each finger, tasting myself. Then He stood me up and leaned me over so my hands were on the edge of the coffee table, supporting me. He took off His pants and dropped His underwear. He felt my smooth round ass, raised His open hand and brought it down on my ass with a loud smack. I squealed as the painful pleasure ran up my spine. When He grabbed my hips and I felt the tip of His cock at the edge of my asshole, I begged for him to fuck me. He spread my ass cheeks wide with His thumbs, pulled back and rammed His cock deep into my ass. I screamed as the incredible pain turned to incredible pleasure and my quivering ass stretched to the width of His giant cock. He paused for a moment, allowing my asshole to adjust to His fullness, then He swiftly pulled back and jammed His cock back in. I moaned and screamed as the pain and pleasure renewed itself and after the third time He fiercely pumped His cock in and out of me with increasing speed. He grabbed my hair with a clinched fist and pulled my head way back. Again and again He reamed me out until He buried His throbbing cock deep and shot His cum inside. My knees felt weak but my hands never moved from the coffee table until He removed His cock, turned me around and commanded me to clean my ass off His dick. I squatted down in front of him and went to work. I opened my mouth and licked from the head of His cock down to His balls. Then I started sucking on the head and slowly edged His cock deeper and deeper into my throat. While I did this, some of His cum had oozed from my ass, leaving a small puddle underneath me. Seeing that, He demanded I clean it up too. On all fours, I eagerly lapped up every drop of His splooge from the floor while He was telling me how happy He was with His little cum slut.

That was also the first lesson about another rule: His sperm must never go waste.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

My "first" with a girl

Master wants I publicly report in depth the details of my sex life together with the progress I am making (which translates in His words in “My achievements in educating my slut”). He asked me to open this new blog and move from Tumblr to this one all the previous reports of my sex life. I will do so progressively, taking the opportunity to insert some older stories in. This is one of them.

All what happened is both recent and old now. I became closer to Master last winter and much closer in January of this year, but I started becoming His submissive toy and He started my education only a few weeks later, in February. The following story, an awesome experience and such a happy memory, took place on January 9. I copy it exactly as I “twittered” it soon after, a write-up that makes now both of us laugh as He is the “handsome” man who invited me that weekend. Quote:

I was invited by a handsome man I know well but who was not a “close” friend before. I was so happy (and remain so) because I was dreaming this guy to take more interest in me and this is happening now. Independently in a way, but thanks to that invitation, a very important event took place in my life. The very surprise of the weekend was in fact that, for the first time, I made love with a girl. My very first girl-on-girl. Now it's said... I am in a very pensive mood tonight. It was weird and awesome. I simply loved it!

Here we are. Last weekend this attracting guy took me at his country house. He had also invited another couple. On Friday night as I expected and wildly wished my boyfriend used a poor and pithy excuse to attract me in his bedroom and he gave me a good lay. I was in heaven and we had a nice Saturday indoors thanks to the weather, he bedded me again after lunch, our friends were having sex too and we all met for tea afterwards. The guys put the TV on to watch a match so the girl (Kate) and I decided to go in her room for some further chat. The bedroom was also equipped with a TV set, and after a time Kate pulled a lesbian sex DVD out of her suitcase and played it. I was slightly surprised, but we sat and watched the movie. Watching on, each of us was growing quietly wetter and wetter.

All of a sudden Kate stood up and gently removed her panties from under her skirt. She tossed them away and began to caress my bare legs. Fondling and gentle stroking with girls was not unknown to me, but I never stepped further and never had lesbian sex before. I realized Kate was bi, she told it bluntly, and she did not need to add anything as she “knew” it was my first time. She whispered she wanted me. I was mesmerized, spellbound by her. We undressed each other until we were down to just our bras, then Kate pulled off mine with her teeth exposing my breasts. As she took my clothes off she caressed my thighs and told me no to worry. “I want you, Alexia, don't disappoint me...” she said softly.

She held my fingers and pulled them to her own soaking pussy, where she made my hand move in a rhythm. She placed her mouth over my hairless pussy and began to eat me out. She continued to tongue fuck me for about 10 minutes when she pulled out a vibrator witch she fucked me with while sucking my tits. Then she started eating me out again. I was moaning, gasping, screaming, I remember I had three full orgasms. I squirted all over her face and she went on licking my juice off my pussy. Then Kate told me to eat her out witch I did after having fingered her soaking wet pussy. After a few minutes she cum all over my mouth, I sucked her dry and went on kissing, fondling and hugging her. Girls know the female body and know what to do to get each other off but I’m not bi and never thought sex with a female was so good.

I feel slightly guilty since that unique experience and I am not sure I want to go on that way – though I know men like looking at girls playing together. I've been silent during the weekend because I had no access to web, and then since because I am still “digesting” my weird experience. I remember the taste and the scent of Kate’s wet pussy... Tonight before twitting I took a dildo and jammed it up my cunt, thinking of that Saturday afternoon. After all I have no regrets, and next time... Well, in summary I must have a “next time”.

Unquote. That was my exact words at the time. Nothing much to change except that when I speak to my boyfriend now I call Him “Sir”, and as He controls my life I now would ask for His permission first. As an aside, needless to write that I had a “next time” since that initiation. Master is kind and good to me.

Alexia

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Routine blowjob


I was back first and when He reached home He looked preoccupied. I kneeled in front of Him in the lobby and slipped my panties down my thighs. I opened His fly and gently took His large cock out, ready to give Master the best 'head' I could and show Him that way how successful His training was. Think of a blowjob as a dance routine... your Master needs a quiet, teasing, promising beginning. Then you use your mouth to take possession of the whole arena... Raise the energy levels as slowly as possible... as you actually choreograph a long sequence of repetitious touches, moves, twists, and shaping, so He never gets bored or loses his climax. And a few rests or slowdowns, at the right times, can prolong and intensify the climax. Be sure to pay attention to the whole penis, not just the head...! Swirl your tongue around the tip while pumping Him and alternate with deepthroat. Lovingly massage his balls. I’ve learnt to alternate my speed when sucking His cock, showing that Him coming in my mouth is my top priority. And when He does start to come I don't stop what I am doing, I suck until He is completely done. And I always swallow His hot and sticky juice with a big smile :-D

He told me "You're a good girl."  Clearly the evening started well.

Alexia

Saturday, 10 July 2010

On April 7 2010 I posted my first blog entry on Tumblr.

My Twitter account has since been pirated and hacked several times, I’ve tried everything and found it is beyond repair. I must keep an open diary (you will understand later why), so I decided to change everything. In that shift I found Blogger was more convenient for blogging (surprise?) so I went for the great move and Sir agreed. I changed my Twitter profile, which is now @AlexiaOwnedSlut and I will keep this blog to obey Sir's demand. He also ordered I copy in what I posted earlier on Tumblr.

So here it is. But first, to clarify the starting point, a recent exchange of emails with a Dom:

Alexia,

First off you may do with my emails what would like. Everything I say is the truth or at least how I know it to be.

Your Master does know you very well. He took a small but talented caterpillar and turned it into a beautifully behaved butterfly. He knows exactly how you need to be treated and when. Most impressive by most standard men but common in Doms.

Your lack of enjoyment with vanilla sex is common with subs. You have learned that your pleasure must be earned and is not given freely. This is something most people do not understand. I've tried to explain M\s relationships to vanilla people before. It is usually a waste of my breath.

I believe you have become so emotionally owned by your Master that anything he tells you to do be it humiliating or painful or just normal, turns you on because you are doing it for Him. To please Him To make Him Happy. I hope that makes sense.

I responded:

Sir, thank you for your email, and for being so kind to me and to how I write about my sub life [that was about my last blog post]. You must be an exceptional Master, I know it by the fast and deep way you understand girls like me. Yes you're right, I hate pain and try to avoid punishments, yet up to a point they're turning me on. And, yes, when Master punishes me I love it provided it's a real punishment, for I've not been a good slut, and not just a game or a play. Yet Master knows that, He know well what He's doing and why, and when I'm punished I know the reason why.

I love Master because He understands me perfectly. For instance I don't really like to be bound so ropes and straps are not commonly used in our relationship, with the exception of handcuffing my hands in my back. Nipple clamps (new to me) tend to become usual, not that much to harm me but because He says with them my body is decorated, and it evidences I am a slave and a slut.

I must analyze deeper why I find such full pleasure in being downgraded and publicly humiliated. You're helping me with your comments. The disturbing idea is my recent finding that I was definitely enjoying sex in those sorts of situations, and when I am forced and ill-treated. A plain vanilla guy chasing me to have plain vanilla sex doesn't turn me on that much. Mentally, I find a little disturbing to note I am in fact a whore, but I must admit I am.

Master will read this email as He reads all I write, and that will help Him to knowing me better, as in your case I understand. I accept that (to have no private life) because the better He knows me the better He can possess me.

(to be followed...)