On April 7 2010 I posted my first blog entry on Tumblr.
My Twitter account has since been pirated and hacked several times, I’ve tried everything and found it is beyond repair. I must keep an open diary (you will understand later why), so I decided to change everything. In that shift I found Blogger was more convenient for blogging (surprise?) so I went for the great move and Sir agreed. I changed my Twitter profile, which is now @AlexiaOwnedSlut and I will keep this blog to obey Sir's demand. He also ordered I copy in what I posted earlier on Tumblr.
So here it is. But first, to clarify the starting point, a recent exchange of emails with a Dom:
First off you may do with my emails what would like. Everything I say is the truth or at least how I know it to be.
Your Master does know you very well. He took a small but talented caterpillar and turned it into a beautifully behaved butterfly. He knows exactly how you need to be treated and when. Most impressive by most standard men but common in Doms.
Your lack of enjoyment with vanilla sex is common with subs. You have learned that your pleasure must be earned and is not given freely. This is something most people do not understand. I've tried to explain M\s relationships to vanilla people before. It is usually a waste of my breath.
I believe you have become so emotionally owned by your Master that anything he tells you to do be it humiliating or painful or just normal, turns you on because you are doing it for Him. To please Him To make Him Happy. I hope that makes sense.
Sir, thank you for your email, and for being so kind to me and to how I write about my sub life [that was about my last blog post]. You must be an exceptional Master, I know it by the fast and deep way you understand girls like me. Yes you're right, I hate pain and try to avoid punishments, yet up to a point they're turning me on. And, yes, when Master punishes me I love it provided it's a real punishment, for I've not been a good slut, and not just a game or a play. Yet Master knows that, He know well what He's doing and why, and when I'm punished I know the reason why.
I love Master because He understands me perfectly. For instance I don't really like to be bound so ropes and straps are not commonly used in our relationship, with the exception of handcuffing my hands in my back. Nipple clamps (new to me) tend to become usual, not that much to harm me but because He says with them my body is decorated, and it evidences I am a slave and a slut.
I must analyze deeper why I find such full pleasure in being downgraded and publicly humiliated. You're helping me with your comments. The disturbing idea is my recent finding that I was definitely enjoying sex in those sorts of situations, and when I am forced and ill-treated. A plain vanilla guy chasing me to have plain vanilla sex doesn't turn me on that much. Mentally, I find a little disturbing to note I am in fact a whore, but I must admit I am.
Master will read this email as He reads all I write, and that will help Him to knowing me better, as in your case I understand. I accept that (to have no private life) because the better He knows me the better He can possess me.
(to be followed...)