Wednesday, 29 September 2010

I am now addicted to being shared

As you know, Master wants me to document my life as His depraved, submissive whore. I am his property, I don't decide. In addition to exposing and humiliating me, He highly appreciates the way I confess to my blog what I would not always tell Him directly. I have explained in my last posting why He shares me, and how I fear it and feel so nervous and ashamed and humiliated and helpless and and and... when the time comes. I’ve never told Him but He knows it all, and forcing me while watching the fear in my eyes is a sweet pleasure for Him. What amaze me is that I’ve grown accustomed to it and I must admit I need it now. So many emotions flow through me when I am whoring but above all I am turned on against my will and I find overwhelming pleasure in being used as a public slut, a tramp, a sex slave, a receptacle for Master and the rest of the town to put their ejected semen in. Yes, Master called me once a “cum dumpster” and I’m afraid He is right, I am now addicted to being abused and ejaculated in by any stranger, or several ganging up on me. You may find it weird but it also strengthens my undeniable love for the man that owns me.

I have written about the other reason why Master uses me as a slave whore to be used freely by others: it arouses Him tremendously, and He needs frequently to be sexually stimulated that way. There is a third one, which I give tonight though I know it will certainly bring a painful punishment when He reads it: Master is, let’s say, a man, He can cum several times in a whole day but He cannot repeat it several times during one evening. Watching men using me and doing me in every hole is a kind of proxy, I suspect. The reason why He sometimes takes me after the others and fucks me hard when I am full of cum remains to be explained however.

Master doesn’t need to threaten me anymore with a punishment if the guests are not pleasured well, I know what my duty is and I am eager to perform and please. I am trained now, and I want Master to be proud of His property.

As the door to the outer hall opens, I go to my knees at once.

That evening, two men came in, one a very rigorous Dom who has used me several times and who has a very engaging attitude, the other... In one quick glimpse before I lowered my eyes in obedience I saw that he was very tall, very powerfully built, and very black. What was arousing was the air of command he brought with him, a man who is used to slaves and enjoys them.

He ordered me to rise and display myself for inspection. I stand immediately, feet spread to shoulder width, my hands locked behind my head, chin up, eyes down. Then he proceeded to run his hands all over my naked body, as though I were a promising filly he was thinking of buying...which I guess was just about right in a way. He stroked my thighs and ass, weighed each breast in his hand, parted my pussy lips and inserted a finger in me to judge the depth and tightness of my cunt.

He snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor, and I went to my knees in front of him. He unzipped his pants and let my eager fingers bring his cock out. It was magnificent, like a thick bar of very tasty chocolate. He was so tall that I had to stretch to reach my mouth to it, but he grabbed my hair and pulled me higher. I started licking his cock, flicking my tongue along its length, one arm around his legs to support myself. He stiffened under my tongue and lips, and I opened wide to take him all in. He put a hand around the back of my neck and pushed my head onto his huge log, filling my mouth, pressing my tongue down. I've been taught how to do this, and I didn't gag as he began to slide down my throat.

Moving his hips forward, he pushed my face closer to him at the same time, his balls right against my nose; he smelt clean and warm and very male, and I gave up all control to him as he fucked my face with long, smooth, steady strokes. But he did not cum, and I looked up at him anxiously: was I not pleasing him?

He laughed and pulled out of my mouth. "Don't worry, pretty slut, you did just fine. But I want to cum in that hot little body." Again he snapped his fingers and pointed to the bed this time, and I instantly assumed the position for use: on my back, legs spread wide, arms above my head. He studied me for a moment or two. "Very nice," he said finally, massaging his cock, still exposed and rock-hard.

Kicking off his shoes, he kneeled on the bed between my legs. He was so big and tall I had to open my legs wider for him than I usually have to, but he tapped my thigh and I obediently bent my knees and raised my legs, feet flat on the bed, and he settled into the saddle to begin the ride.

He was in no hurry, obviously he'd used slaves out before: he gently pushed my knees wider, grasped my ankles and slid my feet further up toward my hips. Again he ran his hands over my breasts and belly and smooth bare mound. I uttered a little moaning gasp as he began to move his fingers on and around my slit, then slipped one fingertip under my clit hood and pressed my little button, circling it, as it swelled. I raised my hips to him instinctively, a submissive and enslaved female offering herself to a dominant mastering male, and he smiled approvingly.

He began to massage my clit and inner pussy lips, pressing harder with three fingers, slipping them into my cunt, which by now was soaking wet. I arched at the feeling of his fingers inside me, then he withdrew one and pushed it into my ass.

"Yes, you're a hot little whore..." He pulled off his sweater to bare his chest, then he slipped off his pants. God, he was beautiful: well-muscled chest, flat belly, and that magnificent thick cock even bigger and stiffer and harder than it was. I shivered at the thought that such a superb tool was soon going to be drilling me; he asked Master for a gag, and fastened it over my mouth, which always makes me feel helpless and deliciously controlled, and then he flipped me over onto my belly and reached for the flogger that Master handed him.

At the first stroke I almost came right there. I've now been well conditioned to the lash, and I respond now to being whipped far more than I ever did before. He jerked my head around by my long hair, to see each lash bite into my ass and the curve of my back and the soft back of my thighs, and my pale skin first went white then turned fiery red. He was an expert: in a very few strokes he got me tingling, in a hot, spreading glow.

In my hazy warmth, I felt his cock head pushing at my ass entrance. He was going to take me there first, he had decided, and I felt his cock sliding in, an inch at a time. He exclaimed, pleased, at my tightness. Again he pulled my head around to look: it was a fine sight, his massive dick standing up black and proud out of me, where it was impaling my round white ass.

He drove all the way in, slowly, his thighs pressing against my butt cheeks, pushing his cock into me, and his hands coming around to the front to cup my mound, holding me still for him. A couple of fingers teased the line of my dripping slit, then they slipped inside. I could feel them moving in me, pressing against his cock in my ass, his thumb on my clit, and I pushed backwards against him, to get him even deeper, arching my back to give him better access to me. He did not take long to come, unloading into my insides and pulling out.

The other man took his turn. Throwing me on my back, he shoved into my pussy without delay. He remained kneeling upright, pulling my hips up to him. I have been used in that position often before, and I very much like it: he slid me smoothly onto his dick, putting me on like a sock, and we could both see him entering me, which was an incredible turn-on. Once he was snugly fitted inside, filling my cunt completely, he took a tighter hold of my hips and began slow thrusting; both of us watched his cock disappearing in me, then pulling out again, shiny with my wetness. At each driving thrust of his hips, I moaned a little behind the gag: I loved the way his shaft looked as it slid in and out of my swelling pink pussy lips, the way those lips looked as they were spread apart by his thickness.

He was deep into me, stretching me, then he lay forward to put all his weight on me and pulled me close to him against his chest, clasping his strong arms under me, pinning my own arms against my sides. My legs were open as wide as they can get; once a woman is impaled like this, stuffed deep, there's no way for her to escape being used well and hard. Not that I wanted to escape, of course. He shifted forward a little, so that he was riding high on me, his pubic bone and the base of his cock hitting hard against my clit. This is the way I love to be fucked, more than any other: helpless under a man's weight and strength, his cock buried in me right up to his balls. In full slave response now, my hips were rising and falling to meet his motion, locked close by his strength and the depth to which he was penetrating me. Our bellies slapped together, then they fused as close as they can get as we rocked in rhythmic motion. He was talking in my ear, his tongue rimming it and flicking into my ear hole, filling it and blocking the sound, then biting my lobe. "You're a fine piece of fuckmeat, you must know that.” He thrust sharply, heaving so hard my whole body moved up on the bed, and I moaned. I couldn't speak because of the leather gag and strap that pressed my lips together and kept my jaw shut, but I moaned, and he plunged deeper into me than before. We were rocking in unison, and I felt myself cumming. Screaming behind the gag, my body went rigid as my cunt exploded, and he drove into me one final enormous thrust and cummed hard, flooding my belly with hot juice.

He lied relaxed on top of me, while my still-throbbing cunt began to quiet down, then he pulled out of me and stand up. "That was quite a ride, little slut," he said, smiling, and kissed me on the navel. I shivered at the touch, and he laughed. He unstrapped the gag. "Thank you, Sir," I whispered.

They left, and I was lying spent and exhausted on the bed, one hand idly stroking my hammered pussy. Master came close to me and said, smirking: "Now Slut, I have plans for you!" The night wasn’t over.


Thursday, 23 September 2010

I was born to be a slave, and I exist to please men

I'm required to relate truthfully my training and my progress, no matter how much it embarrasses me.

It was in May 2010

A submissive girl doesn’t become a slave simply because she is a masochist. You need something else. Someone who obtains sexual gratification from being physically or emotionally abused, humiliated or mistreated is masochistic, but it is quite possible for a person to be masochistic without being submissive. What about the reverse: it is possible to be submissive without being masochistic? Yes, and simple: after years of sex with a patchy assemblage of different men, you meet the dominant alpha male, your Master, who gives rules and boundaries, who makes you happy to serve, who makes you discover you’re finding pleasure in being humiliated and degraded, who knows exactly how you need to be treated and when, a Master with whom you learn that your pleasure must be earned and is not given freely, who is your God and owns your body and your mind. You freely submit to His will, His caprices, His fancies. You love it, be it pain or pleasure, often a combination of the two. I know, now, I was born like that, I was born a slave, more precisely the sex slave of a dominant male, but surprisingly enough I discovered it to its full extent this year only. I also admit finding a sexual pleasure from being emotionally abused and humiliated, and Master knows it too well.

This is one of the reasons why He shares me with other kinks, He knows I fear it and find it terrible and disgusting but I also crave for it, for the humiliation of being given away as a whore and I end up so horny, my heart rate speeds up and my pussy becomes wet and slippery when He puts me in the predicament. If I’m permitted to cum, my body betrays me and at the peak of sexual excitement I reach mad orgasms when at the same time my eyes are filled with tears and I think I don’t want it. Subs psychology and body-and-mind connection are not simple, but sex with a woman's brain, at least mine, can make her cum whatever guys do to the rest of her. Is it ‘normal’ to be a shy nice looking healthy girl and to finally enjoy being taken as a whore? I don’t care, I need to demean myself, to be treated like an object, and Master taught me that part of the humiliation training is taking pleasure in being treated as a whore. I am now well trained, and crave for it.

There is other reason why Master uses me as a slave whore to be used freely by others: it arouses Him tremendously, and He needs frequently to be sexually stimulated that way. Watching your partner have sex with another person is a form of fore-play. For Master it is as effective as Viagra and better for health than a drug. He never gives me away without being there and watching intensely, sometimes wanking but never cumming while watching: He waits for my service to be all over then uses me afterwards or later in the night, sometimes after punishing me for... being such a slut! As I am doing it to please Him, I accept without constrain whatever He wants from me. I know He loves me and prices me high for not holding back, and that is the other reason why I do my best to pleasure strangers.

But pain? In fact I accept pain but that is not to say I enjoy it though now after proper training I admit it turns me on at the same time I fear it. I accept it docilely when it must come, and though I’m suffering, I’m inevitably wet after a few strokes and/or nipple clamping. At the beginning of our relationship, Master was refraining from hurting me without reason. There were no punishments, spanking or else, for His mere pleasure. If I’d been a bad girl, or fail to abide by the rules which is the same, I got punished as a result, but I knew why and accepted it with gratitude. Now, it is different. I realized He gets pleasure in coming up with painful practices what He was refraining from in the earlier times of my training, but I am happy when Master is happy with me, so everything is said. I have learnt my pleasure must be earned and is not given freely...

Master training was also about absolute control. Bondage was common (He loves I suck Him with my hands tied up in the back, says I do a better head that way), but in May - it’s still fresh in my memory - He started the practice of restraining me sometimes when leaving me home alone. One day He had to go out for dinner, a business gathering which I was not supposed to attend. He ordered me on the bed, lying on my back “spread eagle” and tied my wrists and ankles to the bedposts. Helpless and exposed, I thought I was in line for a session of rough and stormy sex, and that was making me all moist. This show as an aside I am not against being tied up and restrained… I was waiting for Master to fuck me and my cunt was lubricated and ready. Equally my butthole could have been used effortlessly. That time was different, Master said “You are to stay so while I am out for dinner. I’ll be back by midnight or later if I feel so. Needless to add that I want that bed clean when I’m back home.”

It was about seven pm when He left, smirking. I was there, helpless, not able to move. I had to spend about five hours restrained on the bed, alone and quiet, and I was happy. Some hours later, the order to “keep the king-size bed tidy” which had no real meaning at the beginning made me worry, then turn anxious, and finally terrorized to need to pee. Inevitably the pain happened and I knew if I let it go I would put myself on a difficult spot. I felt the dull ache in my bladder telling me I really needed to wee. Slowly but surely my belly felt swollen with pressure and the slightest movement hurt.

When I heard Master coming back, I was in a bad shape though doing my best, desperate for many hours, not able to hold any more because my bladder was full to the brim and ready for anything provided I was set free. Master came in and asked if I had been a good girl and if I have kept the bed sheet clean. I answered with a deep low voice “Your slut is happy and was waiting docilely for her Master, hoping to please Him.” He untied me slowly while my nerve response was saying it is time to piss. Suffering but without hurry (as I knew it could have an adverse result) I asked “Sir, do you wish your slut to go to the bathroom?” Pretending not to understand why, He said “Yes, go and refresh your face and have your pussy and ass washed and come back, naked but stockings and ready to serve.”

Oh my god! I went to the loo as quickly as my bursting bladder would allow, followed by Master watching me and clearly amused. As I reached the bathroom and opened the door, I lost control and I could feel my hot pee running down the inside of my left leg like a river. Master laughed. I looked down to see the growing puddle forming around my feet on the laminate floor. I thought I ought to feel embarrassed or upset, but you can’t imagine what awesome pleasure I had emptying out, and instead I felt turned on. I slipped my hand inside my soaked thighs and started to rub my pussy. I asked “May I cum Sir?” and as He nodded I cummed under a minute and could smell my pussy juices mixed with hot pee. “On your knees, slut, thighs spread” Master said. I kneeled down wide open while He unzipped His fly and took His cock out. “Do you want my tasty urine too, Slut?” I answered “Yes Sir, please give Your slut a golden shower”. He then pissed lengthily all over me, focusing on my cunt and my face. I was all wet and dripping. The quantity of urine was such I understood He had held it back for me. I was so grateful of how He was generous with me.


Friday, 17 September 2010

He wants to break me totally

April, May, ...My submissive life went on, progressing as Master charted it out. He was obviously happy to have found the tractable and docile girl He could change progressively into the perfect sex machine He wanted to own. In turn, I was (I am...) getting so much pleasure and fulfilment when He approves, acknowledges my conduct, or more simply is happy with my behaviour that I had (I have...) no boundaries left when His will and wishes are formulated or merely guessed by me.

Master wanted more training about submission, in fact to break my mind, my shyness and my modesty so completely that He could see me happy and cool whatever degrading and humiliating the situation was. As He prizes my work though I’m only a simple secretary/hostess, weekdays are only playfield for submission tests – dressing slutty, kinky orders by phone - but thanks to distance we had seldom lunch or daylight sex sessions, and He -so far!- doesn’t want I go beyond being a tease for my workmates. But weekends are His time as my almighty owner, and mine as His submissive whore.

That Saturday, speaking briefly as usually, He told me I was to be done by one of His friends in need. In fact it was not a friend, but a new acquaintance Master had met the week before and with whom He struck up a friendship.

That man told Master that in his midfifties he didn’t care to seduce women but was rather happy to pay for whores. The point was that whores hardly accept to have anal sex, so he wanted a girl accepting a full and rough assfuck. A bright May weekend was starting. Master phoned him in front of me, just telling He had the right girl for what he wanted, and contrary to a whore it will be free... A bottle of something will do. This terrified me and got me excited at the same time. Master then told me He choose that man because he was unattractive, not a nice looking guy which would arouse me... He added the man was coming on Sunday, and I had to be well prepared, assplug on to spread my hole after the morning was to be devoted to another preparation: I had to go without breakfast and prepare myself with an enema to get my hole clean.

By noon, completely empty and shining clean after a bubble bath, I dressed as I was ordered. Got on my white see-through mini dress with black stockings and suspenders, and high heels. No panties and no bra. Master told me to bend over to insert the plug. He whispered in my ear that it was going to stretch me wider than I have been stretch before. “Do you want it, slut?” “Yes Sir, your slut want it badly, thank you Sir.” He placed the end against my bum hole after He opened it with one then three fingers, and pushed the buttplug slowly in. He said “I like to see your anus hugging the plug. Don’t move, it has still got much to get through your tight ass before it will shrink round the thinner bit. Isn’t the pain exquisite?” I responded what was expected: “Yes Sir, thank you Sir” though I was trying not to groan nor cry. Master kept pushing slowly but constantly and finally when the resistance and pain made me think it couldn’t go in it plopped in and my ass sucked up the thin bit until it was clamped in. Master laughed and said “Go and see your back in the mirror.” Walking with difficulty, I went and saw my ass hole stretched round the plug with the outer ring slightly puckered up around the dildo.

The doorbell rang. Master said “Pleasuring strangers is part of your training to become the perfect slut I want to own, but in addition I want you to know it pleases me to see you used as a whore and giving pleasure as I see fit in front of me.” He added “I train you because you need it and I know what’s good for you... In your case, forced submission creates sexual arousal, but remember: you’re not allowed to cum with this guy.” I was far from orgasm but totally submissive to His wishes I responded I was happy with whatever He decided. Master opened the door and the man He promised me to came in. He was short and fat, not pleasant looking. He had brought a bottle of good wine. Master and him sat and had a drink while I was standing as instructed, legs slightly apart, looking down. After a while the man told me with a hoarse voice to slip my panties down and to come closer. I came to him saying “I have no panties, Sir.” I turned my back to the armchair he was sitting in and bent over causing my short dress to riding up my thighs and showing off my plugged bare ass. I was shivering as a scared bitch, docilely waiting bent over and legs spread for the follow. The man caressed my butt with one hand while he was exploring my crevice with the other, this lasted some time.

The man asked Master: “Shall I get started now?” Master nodded saying “She is for you, ready for what you want.” The man stand, took his clothes off, and ordered me to do same and to suck him. I undressed but my stockings and my shoes and kneeled down, my face level to his cock, his fat belly falling on it. I put my mouth over his short and fat cock, and started a meticulous and rather slow moving blowjob while he grunted and growled. After a long time he told me to stop and follow him and we went to the bedroom. I was ordered to climb on the bed on all fours, my ass over the edge of the bed. He carelessly turned the assplug round a few time and half pull it out and slide it back in. Next he grabbed the plug and pulled it out in one pull. I jolted as hit by an electricity shot when it plopped out and immediately I felt the tip of his cock at my open asshole, then he shoved it up violently. He went on slamming his cock in my open ass, making all sorts of noises. It was not difficult not to cum as ordered by Master, because it was painful and disgusting... To be totally frank, I must add that I was also turned up and wet at the same time, enduring the pain docilely. Hard to explain, but I was not far to be happy to be humiliated and raped that way by a stranger. Again a situation where you can't tell if you crave what's happening or fear it. What I know is that it created an intense amount of moisture between my thighs.

After a long time the man grunted out “I’m cumming” and took his huge shaft out of my asshole and ejaculated on my buttocks and open pussy. I felt his cum running down my ass over my pussy and along my thighs and my stockings. While I thanked him, Master told me not to move before being permitted. They both went out of the room and had again a drink, finishing the bottle while I was waiting on all fours with the sticky cum drying up on me. Much later on, when the man was away, Master authorized me to move and to go to the bathroom.